He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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