he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
