she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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