My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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