you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
