We're facebook friends in real life
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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