you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
