make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
