OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
