Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
