I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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