My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
