you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
