so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
