i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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