life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
