Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
NoShamevember. You game?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
