you guys were way drunker than both of me
I don't think brook has ever known best
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Four minutes until I can fart!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
