I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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