Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
