This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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