one two three fourrrrnication!
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
