When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
