At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
