I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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