I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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