I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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