I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
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