Got a toothbrush?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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