Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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