he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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