she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
