Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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