Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
