Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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