Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
