you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
