Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
