im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
