sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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