Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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