Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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