He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
