Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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