Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
