You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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