I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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