Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
