There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
