you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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